Sup im a 24 yr trans man whose gay in aus🇦🇺
I love cats and food, games and friends and I just reblog funny stuff nothing more.
Send N o o d s — Traveling the World With N o o d l e s
Wanderlust?
Eat.
—but eat like never before with these one-of-a-kind noodle dishes from Japan, China and Vietnam.
Printable recipe cards await your clicks and taps.
“BYOB,” recommends @huishungry. “(Belly.)”
🍜
Seconds?
Watch Double Cooked by Ding Ding and her husband David as they spread happiness through cooking.
It was another canteen argument at the spaceport. This time it was about the new species, the humans.
“I hear they are poisonous. That is why they do not come near and why they cover their skin, so they do not harm others.”
“I heard the clothes are about clan allegiances and you know who they follow from their colours.”
“I thought it was which Gods they follow.”
“No, it is poison.”
The argument had various creatures involved, they were from a crew whose Captain prided themselves on picking as many species as possible to work for them, and who was already attempting to entice a human onboard.
There were so many conflicting stories about the humans. They looked harmless, unarmoured, no claws to speak of, they were not even especially big although further rumour was that they were incredibly strong for their size. But, when the Dran attacked them no one could have predicted how easily the humans sent the dangerous imperialists fleeing back to their home world. How did they do it? No one quite knew.
“They are poisonous. How else did they kill everyone on the Helin outpost without any weapons? With only on scout ship.”
There was a snort from the hooded figure at the bar. “Humans aren’t poisonous, trust me, I should know.”
“I learned that from the team who investigated the outpost. I know.”
The hood was lowered to reveal a human with short brown hair and a frighteningly toothy smile. “My knowledge is a little more first hand than yours. We aren’t poisonous.” He reached in and patted the speaker’s lower mandible, laughing as it recoiled from his touch. “You’ll be fine.”
“If you are not poisonous, how did you do it? They were clearly poisoned by something horrific, a biological agent that the investigators swore was somehow alive.”
The human licked his lips. “I said we aren’t poisonous, I wasn’t lying.”
“So you’re defenceless.” The insectoid being stood. It was angry at being touched by a soft fleshy creature, it felt dirty.
“Nope. I’m human, I’m never defenceless.”
“It would be so easy to defeat you in combat.” It loomed over the human. “Why is it you do not cower? How do you kill your enemies?”
“You wanna become my enemy and find out?”
“Johnson!” The sharp snap from the across the room made everyone freeze.
The human sighed, his eyes dropping. “Sir.”
“Back off, right now.” This barked order came from a Subeco warrior in the uniform of a merchant vessel.
Johnson grumbled. “Seriously?”
“I don’t want another incident, stop baiting people.”
“He called me defenceless.”
“And that is not a capital offence. I have found a trader who has a pallet of what he claims is a human drink called Rum, I need you to help me check it.”
“Rum? It better be dark rum, I don’t want any of that Bacardi shit.” Johnson forgot the insectoid to the lure of alcohol, striding to the door.
“Subeco.” the insectoid was not so quickly put off. It respected the Subeco, they were fine warriors, proven in eons of battle across the galaxy. “What do you know of humans? How are they so dangerous?”
The Subeco’s head wobbled from side to side as they considered their answer. “They are extremely vindictive with tools and masters of improvised weapons, but mostly they kill their enemies slowly.”
“So they are poisonous.”
“No not poisonous, but they are venomous.”
The entire room’s attention was fixed on the Subeco in a moment.
There was a sneer from the warrior who knew one of their best guards was a human with a short temper. It was useful to make sure people were scared of him. “Their fluids are all toxic to some extent, but their saliva is laced with micro-organisms, viruses and bacteria. Death by human is slow and excruciating.”
“I’ll be sure to never let one bite me.” the insectoid was not impressed.
“Bite?” the Sebeco laughed, copying the noise used by humans that was so off putting. “If Johnson wanted you dead he would have stayed at the bar and spat into one of your eyes. My survival tip for dealing with humans is be more useful alive than dead or stay out of range.”
“What is their range?”
The Subeco looked at Johnson before turning back to the insectoid. “If you have to ask that question, you’re too close. Enjoy your drinks, gentle-beings.”
finallygaveintothesirencall asked:
How do you preserve the food from your garden so it doesn't go bad before you can eat it?
gallusrostromegalus answered:
You are wildly underestimating my ability to go fucking feral about fresh produce. I don’t think I even brought snap peas into the house last year. Just ate them right off the vine.
Though I did end up freezing the strawberries/blue berries as they ripened, but even those were consumed within the week.
The only tough one was the potatoes, but that was resolved by just foisting potatoes on everyone I knew. Much more welcome than Zucchinis.
Oh this is why every gardening person I know keeps trying to give me the food they grow
That, and we love you. Homegrown produce is a love language.
Unless it's zucchini. Then it's a cry for help.
Tomato (June) - I think highly of you; treasured friend
Tomato (September) - you are a warm body that is nearby
Fresh new asparagus - romantic love
Artichoke - fondness
New rhubarb with leaves removed - flirtatious potential
Rhubarb with leaves left on - the bloom is gone
Swiss chard - I have made mistakes
Perpetual spinach - declaration of animosity between our houses
White-fleshed potato - you are a neighbor
Blue or red fleshed potato - as above, but with overtones of camaraderie/affection
Kale - you are a person who was nearby when I had kale
Raspberries - you are a person I admire
Strawberries - you are a treasure
Onion - I am confused
Young French beans or young peas - I thought of you especially
Runner beans - mild criticism; familial ties; gift from parent to child
Pumpkins - overt romantic, sexual or childhood-bestie interest; highest declaration of loyalty
Prettily coloured popping corn, I.e. glass gem - let this seal the breach between our houses
Zucchini/courgette - cry for help, resignation
Novelty pumpkins - marriage proposal
(chortle)
Me: huh. Why is this getting a rash of notes all of a sudden?
*discovers paper bag full of zucchini on doorstep*
Me: Ah. That time of year again.
